Loopy Lee
by bleeding scarlet blood
Summary: Alcohol....not a good thing for a certain green ninja!...I wonder what would happen on a night of partying? Read and find out! * sucky sum* humor fic R


"Hey guys what do you think of akiko?" naruto asked while slurring.

"She's a whore" all the other guys drunkenly answered.

Naruto and the gang went to the bar and well, they had 1 too many beers.

Just then Rock lee came through the doors and spotted the gang.

"Hey my youthful friends!" Lee said while saluting.

Naruto just looked at the blurry Green blob and his eyes widened.

"It's the green blob!" Naruto slurred while pointing an accusing finger at lee.

"It's lee loser" sasuke said while hitting naruto over the head. Sasuke wasn't as drunk as Naruto but he wasn't sober either.

"What is this?!" lee asked in horror while looking at all the beer bottles and the empty shot glasses.

"How could you put something so un-youthful in your youthful bodies!?" lee asked while looking at all the bottles and glasses horrified.

All the guys looked at him dumfounded like they had no idea what he said. It was funny sight, there yes where small like they were squinting while their heads where going a little forward and the moths where a bit open.

"What he say?" naruto slurred while pointing at lee while at the same holding an empty shot glass in the hand he was pointing with.

"How could you poison your youthful bodies with this junk?!" lee asked horrified.

"Junk?! This stuff is awesome!" kiba said while he jumped up while doing a 'rock on sign' with his hand while having and rocker sound to his voice.

Lee just sighed and sat down and grabbed a glass of 'water' and took a swig. Lee then got a blush forming on his cheeks and then everything went chaos from there.

"Hey lee just was saying beer was bad and yet he had vodka" Naruto asked confused and still loaded.

Lee just glared at Naruto with the intent to kill.

"watcha' lookin' ya jerk!?" lee all of a sudden yelled at Naruto.

Everyone just looked at him confused.

"ya jerk!" lee yelled. Then he jumped up and stumbled and attacked Naruto.

Naruto just let out a girlish scream and ran out of the bar screaming like a girl. Lee followed the best he could lee was running and stumbling but he kept up…sorta. The rest of the gang followed naruto.

"Don't run away ya pussy!" lee yelled as he tried to punch naruto.

"Man lee had finally lost it" kiba said.

"Yep he's gone loco" sasuke said in reply.

"Noooo!!" naruto screamed while drunkenly dodging one of lee's blows.

"put'em up!" lee yelled while bring his fist up and he was all over the place he could not stay in balance. Lee then noticed everyone else watching him and he glared at them. All the others stiffened.

"Criminal's!" lee yelled while shakily pointing a finger at The Gang.

Lee then looked at akamaru then looked shocked then angry,

"Mad cow!" yelled while pointing at akamaru.

Lee then attacked akamaru. akamaru was easily able to dodge the attacks for he was not drunk…well he was a dog so he couldn't.

Lee then looked at sasuke and then got a killer glare in his eyes.

"OMG! It's a mutant chicken!" lee yelled while pointing at sasuke.

Sasuke's eye brow twitched at being called a mutant chicken. Sasuke was beyond pissed off now. Lee then attacked sasuke and sasuke was able to dodge his attacks but not as gracefully as he normally can when he was sober, sasuke sometimes stumbled to dodge the attacks and sometimes he tripped and landed on his stomach on the ground but sometimes it was good because once he dodged-err tripped out of the way of a crippling blow to the nuts.

"Die mutant chicken!" lee yelled while trying to kick Sasuke.

"I ain't a mutant chicken dumbass!" sasuke yelled frustrated while stumbling out of the way of a blow to the head.

Lee seemed to glance at neji before attacking sasuke again and lee's eyes light up while looking at him.

"Sakura!" Lee said happily while looking at Neji's direction. Neji just twitched and was about to yell at lee but when he opened his mouth he suddenly found lee's lips on his. Neji was utterly grossed out by this. Neji was trying to yell but lee's lips muffled them, and neji tried to move away but lee had a strong grip on either side of his face. Neji was stuck kissing lee. Lee then tried to stick his tongue in Neji's mouth but it was futile. Neji had his mouth clinched shut. Lee then bit down on Neji's lip, harder then he should have and neji had no choice but to open up…well neji kind of didn't know what he was doing at the time but now it was too late, Lee practically had his tongue down neji's throat. Neji was now practically gagging now. Neji was even trying to scream and you know that he is not the type to scream.

Neji then kicked lee. The kiss in reality only lasted about 6 seconds but still that was long but like 5 of them was trying to get away and the last one took the time to kick lee.

"Get your sick ass lips away from me you freak!" Neji yelled a bit panicked and pissed off. Everyone was laughing really hard. Kiba and Naruto were on the ground laughing and rolling around. Sasuke was just laughing while pointing at neji. Shikamaru and shino were laughing while kind of kneeling abit while holding they stomachs.

" OMG! It's the mutant chicken! I thought I killed you!" Lee yelled while pointing at sasuke. Lee was acting like he didn't kiss 'sakura' a little while ago.

"_That's it, bushy brow is going down!" _sasuke yelled in his mind. Then sasuke tried to activate his sharigan but when he did everything starting spinning and then he kind of went crossed eyed and passed out.

"OMG! Teme! Please don't die!" Naruto yelled while he was at sasuke's unconscious side crying.

Just then gai and kakshi arrived.

"Oh my…" was all kakashi could say. Lee was stumbled all over the place and sasuke was out like a light and naruto was crying like a little girl while everyone was laughing or screaming and the field was destroyed.

"LEE!!" Gai yelled out.

Upon hearing his name looked at Gai and he looked abit longer.

"Gai…sensai?" Lee asked a little unsure

"OH lee!" Gai said while hugging lee then lee all of a sudden passed out.

The next day……….

Lee woke up with a killer head ach.

"Oh how un-youthful" lee mumbled.

Lee then got up to go get ready to hang with the gang.

Lee walked to the field, not the one he destroyed but a field.

Sasuke shot Lee a death glare same with Neji and akamaru just growled.

"What?" Lee asked with cluelessness.

"I'm not a mutant chicken!" sasuke said with anger.

"I do not look like a girl!" Neji said with the same tone as sasuke.

"And were not criminals!" everyone yelled.

"What are you guys talking about?" Lee asked while tilting his head. At that everyone fell over anime style. Lee just shrugged and sat down. He didn't remember a thing.

One shot i wrote forever ago. Just edited some stuff. I had it posted on my friends account before i made my own. So im takin it back and putting it on mine :P


End file.
